Greetings

Hello,

And welcome, and all that. I guess I should tell you why I am writing this, and why this blog is potentially very important to me.

I was diagnosed with Diabetes aged 17, in the middle of my exams at school, and given that was now some 10 years ago I'm a 27 year old man from South Wales in the UK who is a fully blown insulin-dependent diabetic (Type 1 - must remember this, as I seem incapable of doing so). I have lived with this condition for a decade and I suppose to a non-diabetic its relatively simple to deal with. You simply inject insulin to take into account what your eating and what exercise you do. Er, yes. It really is that simple.

Yeah, but its just not is it...

But before I go into that, I should say a little bit about me. As I mentioned I'm in my mid-twenties, I have a good job, a beautiful daughter and a wonderful, gorgeous and supportive girlfriend. I have everything to live for and besides Diabetes (and a little touch of tinnitus) I have no other conditions which affect my life. I would say I am in a pretty fortunate position in life, and have no real worries for anything.

When I became diabetic I had the inevitable honeymoon period which is so often talked about, and that took me through my first 18 months. Since then, largely, its been down hill with a few minor upward slopes. My HbA1c has been ranging from 9-11 over a period of about the last 4 or 5 years. Sometimes, I'm actually suprised its that low, given the things I eat.

Okay, so here's my life choices - let me stand up and have my two minutes of therapy.

• I smoke, probably around 20 per day.
• I eat junk food, and I mean it, yesterday I had the equivalent of about 3 chocolate bars
• I snack after meals in the night and dont take bolus adjustments for it.
• I havent exercised properly in about 3 months.
• I drink rubbish, like diet coke etc - which is terrible for your blood pressure.

Okay, now you can nod, sigh, gasp, applaud or whatever else tickles your fancy.

So herein lies the point of this blog. I want to change this. I have to change this. My girlfriend is currently away in New York, and its given me time to think - to ponder why I am living the way I am. I was scrolling some of the diabetes forums the other night and someone had written something on there that really hit home. It was along the lines of...

'Injecting yourself and managing your blood sugars is hard, but its nowhere near as hard as dialysis would be'

It just got me thinking....I know Doctors will tell you about the complications of uncontrolled diabetes over and over again and I've been there. You get a guilt trip, don't you? A guilt trip that lasts probably for about 15 minutes after the session and then your back to your usual self. I have lied and told consultants that my diabetes is okay, I just forgot my readings book, I've told them I dont smoke and I've told them I eat a balanced diet. I've lied and cheated and ignored my way through 10 years of diabetes. But maybe the other night reading that post was a defining moment, okay lets make it a defining moment - I am diabetic, I am a shit diabetic and I want to sort it out. I want to see my daughter graduate and not be in a wheelchair whilst I watch, I want to be able to have a normal sex life beyond 40, I want to travel the world after I retire. I want to be able to see and touch and move until I'm old enough to be a grandad.

Why am I a bad diabetic? I dont know, I think its a mixture of things. Firstly, ignorance of the condition and the blissful state of apathy to which I approach it. Secondly, thinking about it does depress you. Thirdly, I can eat what I want and remain thin - hey, who the hell wouldnt want that?

So I want to is to begin to deal with this problem, and therefore what I hope to gain from this blog is:

• Support - because I've never really been able to speak to fellow diabetics about my condition.
• Facing up to the facts - I lot of the way I have (not) dealt with diabetes is through ignornace, and I hope to learn a lot more about the condition and what I can do to manage it. You've probably noticed the hyperlinks.
• Helping people - maybe, just maybe a little bit.

Above all this is a way of forcing myself to sort things out, once and for all. I need to make some definitive lifestyle choices. Writing this forces me to think, read and face up to the condition I have, I hope if anyone reads this its not too dull or appears too rambling. Please feel free to contribute.